Romane & Erzählungen
Despair

 

First scene:

 

Elizabeth at the window; William down below

 

William

“A wonderful night it is as my eyes lie on thy face. My heart pounding indeed thy beauty caused. Night holds no sleep for me as thy beauty I think of. Daytime means no rest for humble soul mine as work lays down thee because of. To see thee again I wished and my prayers answers god tonight. Hence go can I not until thou heardest my words and my calling answerest thou. Wait I will as long as thy beautiful mouth holds no words of love for me. Can I sleep under thy window a dog like myself has to. Come in I can not though my heart wants to hold thee dearly. Thus can only my words reach thy ear and hope to be answered as the prayers they are.”

 

Elizabeth

“Quite clear I hear thee though what about art thou talking conceive I can not. Why dost thou wish to be hither? What does incite thy soul coming hither?”

 

William

“A young boy am I and not much of the world have I seen though certain I am. The world holds no comparison to thy beauteousness and thy bounteousness. As long as I can not see thee rest may I not find again. Only wander I can through the night thee searching and never finding. Thy hair more smooth and beautiful than silk I wish to feel through my fingers falling. Thy eyes shine as ambers more bright than the stars of the night and the sun of the day. The guide in my dark world they are and without them and thee my way I will not find anymore. The poor and weak me can never wish for more than to stand thy side by and hope for one glance only of thy eyes looking at me. Hence want I do not go until thou my wish fullfillest.”

 

Elizabeth

“I feel very bad about making thee suffer though I can not. I do not know thee and my heart belongs to a man I dearly love thus I can not see thee. Please go hence and never come back. To call my father’s guards I wish not.”

 

 

William

“How cruel thou can be to call the lord’s dogs hither. Amber is turning to ebony and my sight darkens. Whither I can stay if not hither? Whom I can love if not thee? What I can live for if not hope? Oh world so cruel, oh pain so strong, oh people so hateful, oh me so weak! Die I should at the moment. Hence can I not live on, hence can I not go further.”

 

Elizabeth

“I wish for thee not to die. Please, thou hast to accept my wish and live on. I pray for thee to find a worthy place in life and thou may live a better life without me. Give up thou can never since more this world holds for thee. Canst thou not see the beauty of the day? Canst thou not understand more the world is than love? One piece of life is love and not the best at that.”

 

William

“Thou dost not understand. Thou canst say so surely because thou art in love and thou art loved dearly. My pain thou canst never see. Thou art my first love and thou willest stay the only. I will go hence but never will I find a place for myself to stay. Unresting I will stay until the day may come thou answerest my loving heart and takest the pain away from me. If thy thinking changes and search thou willest find me thou willest at the darkest place in the darkest hour on the day the world ends. Thither I will wait and thence I will show thee the truth about this world which shall hold so much in thy opinion. Thee I will show there is nothing more than love in this world. For the shivers of my soul I will search until this day.”

 

Elizabeth

“What art the talking about? Hast thou lost thyself in madness?”

 

William

“A gift madness would be though have I not lost myself. Imagining I was a little though I know that day may never come. Farewell my dear, I hope the day of our reunion is not as far as I fear.”

 

Elizabeth

“Farewell though that day will never come.”

 

Silence

 

Grey

“Whom art thou talking to, dear?”

 

Elizabeth

“No one, my love, no one.”

 

Grey

“Thy voice I heard though sayst thou no one thou art talking to?”

 

Elizabeth

“Talking to myself a little I was. Excited I was because of the wedding. Thou hast to believe me.”

Grey

“I will believe thee. Right art thou. No reason is there for thee art lying. My love for thee made me feel a moment of uncertainty though without a reason. Fogivest thou this foolish me?”

 

Elizabeth

“Surely forgive I thee. Thou art right. There is no reason for thee to be uncertain though I appreciate thy feelings for me. Nevertheless I wish for a good night’s rest these days even. I wish thee a good night my love.”

 

Grey

“A good night I wish for thee also. Thy strength hast to preserve thou for the wedding as well as possible.”

 

Kisses her forehead

 

William, to himself

“A wedding… More serious the situation is than I thought. I have to do something before it may be too late.”

 

Second scene:

 

William builds a sculpture; Master watches him

 

Master

“Fool! What art thou doing thither?! The precious marble! Thyself art thou not today. Thou never makest such common mistakes. What happened to thee?”

 

William

“My deepest apologies, master. I know not why able to build sufficiently I am not though I know my hands want to build a different statue than me.”

 

Master

“Then build it, I say. If thy hands want to it is thy heart’s will and if it is thy heart’s will it is most important. The best statues are only built with the artist’s heart in it. Only thy blood will help thee build the most wonderful art. What is it thy hands want to build?”

 

William

“I do not know my hands will as well as thou wouldest know thy own hands. I am a mere student and as well as the master may be, never becoming better than his own limitations men’s fate is.”

 

Master

“Surely, thou would not know. Hast thou to start building it to know thy hands will. Not even I would know how to create art if I did not start with it.”

 

William

“I will try my best thee not to disappoint. The work I will start right away.”

 

Takes a new block of marble and starts to work on it

 

Master smiling

“That is more like it. This is the William I know.”

 

Third scene:

 

William and Henry at the tavern; some workers get more drunken at the minute

 

First worker

“A shell life is and break out we can never hope. Darker the world never can become. Even hell seems to be better.”

 

Second worker

“Canst thou not see the purpose of life? Canst thou not see what we are working for?”

 

First worker

“Purpose thou sayst? A purpose is there? If thou hast find such a thing thou hast to tell me.”

 

Second worker

“Easy is it. Thou hast to find thyself someone love thou can. If thou dost so, thou wouldest understand the life purpose. On that day all hardship will itself repay.”

 

Henry

“Drunken bastard, hold thy tongue. A purpose in life is there not for men like us. Work we will until we drop dead and to the gentry will all nice and good flow. Stop thy talking about love and purpose. If thou art looking for a reason, it is for them to even more rich become. There is no place for us in this world other than crawling on the floor.”

 

William

“Let them be. There is no purpose in talking to the drunk. Thou art wasting thy time. They will talk the same way tomorrow at the same time hither at the same place. Hence let us not be affected by their stupid words.”

 

Second worker laughing

“Thou art pitiable. If thou givest up at this point fortune thou willest not find. Pity, pity, pity. Sleep well I can because life is good and reason to be sad is there not. Dost thou understand not? Life is purpose in itself because life is beauty in itself. Look around and see the beauty, willest thou not?”

William

“I know not whether thou art right. Think about it I will but a better time will there be for such questions. Tonight let us drink in peace and drown our sorrow because for us sorrow is normal and joy is rare.”

 

Second worker

“Sorrow? I know of no sorrow. If thou hast to drink to drown it, thou art more pitiable than I thought. Drink! Drink until thou fallest down dead and then tell me if thy sorrow is drowned then. It will not as long as thou createst thy own sorrow. Good luck with it, brother!”

 

Second worker leaves the tavern

 

William murmuring to himself

“Am I not a fool? Indeed a fool I was but I was destiny’s fool. The world does not end so soon. I have time to look at it and search I will for my own purpose. Right was he not. Too simple he was to think of the real purpose. I will find it. Tomorrow start I will. Tomorrow.”