Dear Katie,
I just now find time and the muse to write to you. We have both lost our mother in the last month and it is strange that you such a young person should endure the same pain. I feel strange because sometimes I forget about her and my daily life goes on, but than at other times it struck me so hard, I have lost her forever, I can ask no more, hug no more and I won´t be comforted by her again. No more: Mum help me, Mum hug me or Mum I just wanted to call. When I was younger I sometimes called her, in my mind when I was lonely or felt hurt. Now I still could do that but it doesn´t seem to make sense anymore. But it actually does. My Mom is inside me, her thoughts and believes her love and her scolding. She is part of me as much as I am part of my children. I think it is the same with Jeanne. She is with us and when we think about her she is present and when we need to hug her it is as well to hug anyone, because she will feel it. And if we are lonely anyone can be her to comfort us. This does not mean that there could ever be a substitute, but it means that she is in our hearts and present in everything we do. Not every person leaves such a trace but Jeanne did.
I want to repeat my offer to you, come and stay with us. We would be happy to be the ones to give Jeanne’s hugs to you.
Love Angelika
